Im alone in the universe

Ok first of all I know that the title for this post is also the title of a song from Suessical. I DONT CARE. I know that there are people out there who say they care and they love me, but for some reason I dont feel like they mean it. I guess that this is what its like to be an empath. Always feeling alone, never knowing how you truly feel, never being able to truly love someone, or to even feel the love someone holds for you. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do with myself. Somedays I just want to crawl into a fuggin corner and just cry my eyes out. I've done it before and will do it again, I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY ABOUT IT. I think too much to be with someone and know what it feels like to be happy for myself, sometimes I will sit on the bus with my back on the bottom of the seat and my head hanging out in the aisle. Idk why but for some reason that helps me to think clearer. I have spent the whole bus ride to ocean city like that with music blaring in my ears. Thats another thing I do to think, I blare music/musicals so that I dont get distracted, it doesn't matter where I am. If I need to think I will walk away from my friends and go sit in a corner and blare music and think. I will also sometimes get up and dance until I no longer can or until I fall and hurt myself cause I was too busy thinking about something to pay attention.